Why does this keep happening?

Worth knowing first

Two real reasons people find themselves drawn to the same type of connection again and again: your attachment style — the template for closeness you learned early, which can make certain dynamics (even difficult ones) feel like "how relationships work" — and familiarity bias, where a dynamic that's simply recognizable gets mistaken for chemistry, even when it isn't healthy. Neither is a flaw. Both are patterns you can actually see and shift, once they're named.